10 Steps to Being an Ex-CEO

VACATION (1983) / Clarkgriswoldcollection.com

Step 1: There is no spoon.

A few weeks ago, I formally stepped down as CEO of Graphicly. And while I generally expected people to be supportive, what did surprise me is how many people asked how I did it. Not the process of finding and selecting a CEO, but how I was able to step down and still stay engaged with the company.

It was almost like so many founders who hear so often that as a founder they should have begun to realize that could and should are two different things.

Let’s not mince words. I certainly could have continued to be CEO, but at this point in the lifecycle of the company, I shouldn’t. After after working with the new CEO, David Fox, it is clear that is the right decision.

If you are thinking about stepping down as CEO, but want to stay with your company, here are some simple steps to easing the transition.

Step 1: There is no spoon.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon — that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Spoon boy: There is no spoon.

Neo: There is no spoon?

Spoon boy: Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. — The Matrix (1999)

There is only one person who can make sure that the transition works — you. Learning to bite your tongue is the most important trait you can acquire to ease the transition.

Step 2: It’s not your company.

It’s been about three months since David has been at Graphicly. In that time, I have spoken to our lead investor once. This is after speaking to him one or twice a week for three years.

Did I feel unloved? Slightly. But a business has to have a single leader, and it is paramount that the relationship with investors and the board is owned by that leader.

If you step down as CEO, you are no longer that leader.

Read that again.

It is no longer your company to run.

I am still on the board. I am still am incredibly (sometimes too incredibly) involved in the decision making process. But it’s not my company.

Step 3: Swallow your tongue.

You are an entrepreneur and for some time were a CEO. You are a muthafuckin’ decision-maker, yo!

Only, not any more. You have to let the new CEO make decisions. You need to be supportive, even if you wouldn’t have made the same decision.

Why? Because you didn’t bring in a new CEO to make the same decisions you would make. You brought him in to make different decisions. Otherwise, what is the value of a new voice?

Step 4: It’s like selecting a second dog.

I have two amazing dogs. They are the most amazing dogs in the whole world. Yes, I am a dog nut, and I often view interpersonal relationships through the interactions of my dogs. The purity of emotion and instinctual decision making of dogs is something we lose as we become “adults” and “professionals.” It’s kinda sad.

When I was training my first dog, Billie, the trainer told me that two dogs are often easier than one. Given Billie loved other dogs like a fat kid loves cake, I decided to get a second dog, Taylor

Here is the advice I got how to select Taylor:

Don’t select on breed. Or size. Or color, or energy or age. Select on temperament. Two dogs, who on the surface appear to be very different, could actually be perfect for each other.

Select on skill set and temperament. Skill set should almost always be sales and operations. And temperament? Well, just look in the mirror and tell yourself the truth.

Step 5: Game recognizes game.

Your ego is large. A new CEO’s ego is large. Here is a simple rule to reduce ego clashes.

Bust your ass. Game recognizes game.

Step 6: When busting your ass still leads to wanting to bust a lip.

Trust is developed only by being trusting, and trusting begins with honesty.

There have been times when David and I have been at each other’s throats. And each time it has happened, it has always been mitigated by just being open and honest about why one of us is angry at the other. Sounds all new age and Californian, but it works.

For example, Tuesday I was in Chicago. David shot me an email blowing me up over something. It was 1am CST. I went back to my hotel from the event I was at, fuming. Turned out that it was a miscommunication and I wanted blood.

The next morning, David called me. He explained that a couple of things were making him frustrated. I told him that I wanted to stab him in the face with an unsharpened pencil. We discussed the areas of frustration, and I put my pencil away. Crisis averted.

Sounds simple, because it is.

Step 7: It still hurts.

There are things where my heart still twinges a bit. Our lawyers sent documents to all of our investors with the heading “On behalf of our CEO, David Fox.”

I felt punched in the stomach. “What about me?” I thought to myself. It was a small thing, a insignificant thing, a stupid thing. But it was a real thing to me.

Just recognizing that such feelings would continue to occur, and more importantly, that they are legitimate feelings made it bearable and allowed it to pass.

That wasn’t the only time my breath caught in my throat for a moment. But, it’s happening less and less. Maybe one day it will stop. Or maybe it won’t. I think thats actually a good thing.

Step 8: The only way to win the game is to stop playing.

Everything you read from all the smart people tells you that you have failed because you are no longer CEO.

Fuck them.

Your success (or failure) is directly tied to your ability to see your vision come to life and become a big company. That’s it. Titles, roles, etc. are only a single vector on the path to that success. By putting everyone, including you, in the best position to provide optimized success, you increase the potential for that positive outcome.

Step 9: All you need is love.

I have been deeply surprised at how much more I love working at Graphicly now. It’s not because I don’t have the stresses of being CEO, but because I am doing what I am best at — making product. In the last three months, we have seen heightened efficiencies across the board. Product is being built more quickly; morale is up. There is no one at the company that hasn’t lived up to The Rule of Awesome almost daily. It has been amazing to see.

Step 10: It’s a quest for fun.

Clark: I think you’re all fucked in the head. We’re ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun… We’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of you’re assholes! I must be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

—Vacation (1983)

Somewhere along the line, we forget that we are entrepreneurs because it is fun. Yes, it is often like riding a lion, but without fun it is not worth doing.

Praise Marty Moose.