I Deserve It

right?

Do me a favor. It’s a small one.

Close your eyes. Think for a minute about something you want or a goal you have.

Now say, “I deserve it.”

How do you feel?

If you are like me, your first reaction was “no you don’t.”

As humans, we do a great job of setting goals and creating checklists. We know that we much Get Things Done! or stare procrastination in the face and poke it in the eye.

After all losing weight is easy? Getting a new job? No problem. It’s just a set of tasks that over time bring us closer to our goals.

Yet, we fail. Again and again.

Over the years, I have battled my weight (or as I like to say, searched for the skinny me). Countless conversations with countless people with countless solutions, that always seemed to include counting. Except when it didn’t.

I have tried a million diets and a billion hacks (I counted), and still I failed.

What is it about me (given so many friends have lost weight over the years), that caused the failure. It was not the diet, or the exercise, or lack thereof. Why, no matter what I did, did the scale look me the face, and poke me in the eye. Why me?

Because I don’t deserve it.

Or at least thats what I believe.

A week ago. I closed my eyes.

I thought about losing weight, and I asked myself “Do you deserve to be skinny?”

And the answer surprised me. I told myself no. I don’t deserve it. I haven’t worked hard enough, or maybe I haven’t paid enough penance for past mistakes. Or perhaps, it’s just the role I have to play, the role of the fat funny friend with exceptional hair and smile.

I’ve stopped trying to lose weight. Because my failure is guarenteed.

I have started to learn about why I believe that I don’t deserve to be skinny. I know so many of my friends are going to tell me that I am being a dummy. That, like my mom told me when I was a kid, I deserve to be anything that I want to be. But it’s just not true today.

And learning that has taught me a simple fact.

The secret to any success is understanding and believing that you deserve that success.

So before you dive into anything, close your eyes.

Ask yourself “Do I deserve it?”

And learn what you need to do to make that answer yes.

Because then, and only then, you will ensure your success.

After all, you deserve success, right?

(p.s. the new Medium editor UI is horrible, and since I can’t figure out how to attribute photos, please check out: http://www.lolazabeth.com/ which is where I found the photo.)